Column 5 Feb 2009

Hi Everybody

After much consideration we have decided to go with Home Bar in Claremont for some Friday after work drinks. Some stress relief with some high octane alcohol is in order.

It is an especially auspicious occasion. Although Ben Johnston has been drinking since the age of 4, he is completing his first week at work. And we all know what a memorable Friday these turn out to be. Let’s arm ourselves with some great beer, not SABMillers honey badger piss, and really enjoy this moment with him.

Drink KWV 2005 Chameleon wine. Because lets face it, I will drink any wine where they put an animal in that can look in two directions and change colors, and so should you.

Tash Hohls is celebrating a birthday as well, please buy her brandy and maybe bring her a packet of biltong. She would really enjoy that.

Couple of words of encouragement to John Kyle, there is hope for you yet brother. A granny in Korea has failed her driver’s license 771 times. Check it out;
http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,,2-10-1462_2464475,00.html

Guys all this bullshit about valentines has to come to an end. Since when has it been all about the difficult sex. Cupid is male for fuck sakes, and not even he would pass up on tickets to the Stormers and Sharks game. So I think this year it should be called Manentines day and Newlands is the Cathedral of Love.


News from the dog’s kennel:

Dale Higgins instead of doing what he’s told to do….. Dig a Hole!! He bought a house. Good on ya Dale.

French children, running around your house banging on walls after 4 hours sleep is exactly why Germany should have won.


From Skeet this week:

This week has been rather festive on my side. It was the usual slow start to the week, after a fine weekend at the races and a hugely enjoyable day at the Kirstenbosch Gardens. The Parlotones put on an absolute spectacle on Sunday, and I would encourage everyone to download their album for free from a mate or a peer-to-peer network. (Limewire and Kazaa are both great, and I hear BeeMP3 is pretty great too).

Yesterday, bus loads of Flats brother’s and sisters from other mothers and sisters made their way in to the CBD for the sentencing of the delightful Najwa Pietersen. I thought It would last a day, and therefore shrugged it off, but true as Bob, they’re back again today. Trying to work while hundreds of off-whites are screaming and shouting and simply performing like barbarians, is not something I enjoy. In fact it’s pretty horrible. The question is, what on earth are they actually doing here? Do they believe they can make a difference, or are they just trying to get the day off work. She’s guilty. It’s not rocket science guys, Hang the bitch.

Other news from town is that De Waal Drive is on fire. They’re questioning all smokers.


The Irish Note:

Whilst taking a break from my strenuous leprechaun tossing training schedule I stumbled across some interesting reading.

A fire, which started at the Jonkershoek Nature Reserve on Wednesday, was still raging on Thursday morning. The fire started about "one kilometer from the top of the mountain" on Wednesday and was heading towards the Stellenbosch area on Thursday morning, Constable Harris said. Michael Phelps was seen fleeing the area carrying what appeared to be the shattered remains of some sort of smoking orange vase.



In Closing…………

To end, we all hope to see you there, 5pm. If you going to bring a couple of mates, please avoid bringing any Zionists, Christians and people from the northern suburbs (Christians from the Westbrook Baptist church are welcome).

Also if you are a male with spacers in your earlobes, The Dog reserves the right to hang his jacket there.


Sheldon
Editor